the death of my cousin a.k.a. my brother Dayn Schulman
What can I say..My cousin killed himself last tueday 11/21. He was one of the last people I would have bet on to do this to hmself, our family, his friends. But he truth is this, he did it and he is dead now at 35 yrs old.
He parents had both died years ago, he had no kids, no wife, only us..his cousins, aunts and uncles and our nana who is 91 yrs old.
He was my brother in the clothes of a first cousin. He was raised as my brother.
My brother and I were tasked with cleaning up his ome; going to the scene of the death, seeing how he lived, how he felt he deserved to life. He lived with bottles and bottles of empty canadian mist and beer, He lived with pounds upon pounds of pot, he lived with rolled up dollar bills and blood stained tissue. He lived with dirty filty clothes. He lived with peanut butter and jelly, almonds and cat food.
More later. I am haunted by what I saw, what I cleaned, the note he left, what I heard and what I have left to do...
posted by Coda Coach at 6:12 PM
15 Comments:
Keep writing. - RM
{{CodaCoach}}
My heart goes out to you today.
Take it one breath at a time when need be..sending you peace.
Tab
I am chilled and so sad to learn of this event. No one should ever have to live in such lonliness, but many do. May God watch under you and your family during this time with a tight grip.
I'm so sorry to read of your bad news. I lived that life too and was one of the lucky ones who survived.
Take it easy. Thinking of you.
Kenny Mack
London
England
I have lost a lot of close friends to the disease. I almost lost myself...TWICE.
It's heart rending to see a loved one make that decision. It's an ugly reminder of where so many of us have been and could be again, if we didn't have our programs.
I wish love, healing and hope to you and your family. Feel free to write me.
Peace,
Dharmashanti
Blog: http://themiseryconspiracy.blogspot.com
Web: http://dharmashanti.com
Email: dharmashanti@gmail.com
That is a sad, sad thing. I'm so sorry and pray for peace for you and for him.
In our recovery we make our recovery history so we can sit across the table someday and share with someone just how we survived the problem they are facing. We build our program from bits and pieces and hold it together with the spirit of a Higher Power.
My prayers are with you, your family and your cousin--that he makes the crossing easily.
I am so sorry for your loss. Keep posting.
Sending thoughts and prayers your way. How very sad this life of addiction is. Recovery so rocks and there are days I just wish everyone would get it.
JJ
I am deeply sorry for your loss ,it is truly a sad event ,my heart goes out to you and I wish you strength to help you through this grief filled time ,Take care and God Bless .
Greeneyes
I too was sorry to learn of Dayn's passing. Dayn and I were good friends in the late 80's while I lived in Dana Point. I moved to the east coast, and I lost touch with Dayn. A mutual friend of ours called me Friday to let me know what happened. Even though he and I had not spoken in several years, I would have given anything to have been at his service on Saturday. I looked for flights from Madison, but no luck.
I wish I had talked with Dayn prior to this happening. He was there for me 20 years ago when my parents were getting divorced. His love for others was amazing, and I have never met another person like him, he truly was unique. He now knows the gifts he has given me from that night he helped me years ago.
I share your pain, as many others in this world do from losing Dayn. I have so many unanswered questions about my friend. Where has he been, what has he been doing, how did we loose touch over the years? Thank you for posting his picture, it helps. I have been scouring the internent trying to find information on him for the last week, and every little bit helps.
I wish you and your family peace.
Dave
Hello, I worked with Dayn between 2001 and 2003 or so in a small technical recruitment operation here in Santa Cruz.
He was an extraordinarily friendly, outgoing, and emotionally vibrant person. Very different than myself in demeanor, but we got along really well, probably because of it (opposites attract and all that). He always made me laugh and I couldn't have asked for a more fun guy to work with.
I haven't seen him for a couple of years and I was completely taken by surprise at this when I heard last week. Totally unlike Dayn. I was sorry to get the news.
Best wishes,
Chris P
Dayn and I hung out in high school and did all the things that were fun to do back in those days. I would see him from time to time over the years and I sensed nothing wrong. In fact it seemed like he had a bright future. Amazing how things can change and how it seems that others did not see the train wreck that was about to occur. Just a very sad thing and a horrible way to close out his life. For all those that were close to him I send my sympathies.
MS
I wrote this for Dayn
Dayn and Day Out
Was there no comfort in a new day?
Every hope gone, were you left astray?
Did the sun forget its warmth and glory?
Did it leave you helpless at the end of your story?
Did the sun forget to shine for you?
What about the wind?
The wind that blows away yesterday a makes things new.
Wind clears away gray skies and makes them blue.
Did the wind stop blowing for you?
The oceans and its waves that roll to shore...
Did they not greet you anymore?
Was there no beauty left in the sea?
Was there no longer a reason to live, to be?
And the music? The songs of love and peace,
Your soul, they could not reach?
All songs of joy and harmony, blocked by pain
Such misery?
There was no music, no lullaby
No solem, heart felt goodbye.
The moon, the moon will shine her light,
But for you my friend there is only night.
Sun, Wind, Ocean and song
Reminds us of you and WILL go on.
Dayn and Day out...(without a doubt. )
Love,
Vianne
What a beautiful poem. Sending wishes of peace to you and your family.
C.
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